Tuesday, July 28, 2009
What to do, what to do...?
Change has been the trend recently. After a good 4 years of subscription/addiction, I made the executive decision to cancel my World of Warcraft account. It was a good run, and I can't say that it often wasn't fun, but I won't miss the e-drama and teenage e-peenery that came with trying to log on and kill internet dragons. There is now more time to pursue those other interests that hadn't been getting as much attention, like...blogging!
I also, thanks to my employer, got a healthy paycheck and was able to pay off my Escape, sell Danielle's Versa and get a VW Bug convertible, pay off 2 credit cards and a student loan, pay off our bed, and soon even (GASP!) put some new pickups and a new bridge on my bass. As much as I like to complain about HP (often justifiably so), God blessed me through them with one of the best account sets available. In the end, i'll make about 30% more than I was supposed to for the year.
All of this to say that I really had to take a look at what I've been doing in life, what I spent energy on and what was neglected. It was disturbing to see how much time I committed to video games and the lengths to which I would go to ensure I could play for as long as I wanted and on my own terms. And it was shameful to look at what I had shunted aside in favor of doing what it was that I wanted to do for myself. Selfishness really takes its toll when allowed to be a priority.
But God is good. I have great friends that I've had more of a chance to see as a result. We have more financial resources at our disposal and are finally truly making a dent in our overall debt (looks like we'll be down by about 50% in December from where we were last year), and I have more time to think about what God's direction for me, and re-evaluate the talents he's given me.
More than ever, I burn to play music, to find a group of musicians who want to not only make great music, but make great friends. I am devouring books of my favored genre, fantasy, but also allowing my mind to expand into other areas of interest. And I find myself truly appreciating my wife more. Spending time with her is truly a joy that I have under-appreciated for the past 2 years of our marriage. An oversight I am working to rectify.
All that to say that I still struggle with selfishness...all the time...but now realize that when you let selflessness into the picture, great things start to happen.