Monday, August 24, 2009

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

It's 8:11, I've got a cup of bad coffee in hand and i'm listening to some IT guy drone on about technical server data that goes way over head. I try to work, but find my brain and heart really aren't in it. As has been the case for the last 2 weeks, all I can really think about is Wednesday.

It's kind of sad. Sure i'm excited about the possibility of getting a huge paycheck again, and being able to spend it on some new gear. The pathetic part being that all I've been able to think about recently is how much money I'm going to make. Even in church yesterday. I feel pretty awful. I feel like (pardon the French) a greedy bastard.

Perhaps it is a reflection of how little I feel like I have to look forward to these days. My dreams tend to seem more like pipe dreams than achievable ones. I don't really have many solid friendships with folks in the immediate area. I don't care too much for my job, but it's often hard to believe that I'm going to be good at or successful doing anything else.

I'm thinking it's time to put things back into God's hands. I tend to be selfish with things like time and activities. I should learn to give more of the time I have to things outside of myself. And I need to be more responsible in the activities I pursue. Less time sitting around watching TV, more time doing something constructive like exercising, visiting with friends, pursuing volunteer activities, etc. In essence, spend more time consumed with something other than myself and my desires.

My boss is likely about to walk into the office, so it's probably time I at least pretended to listen to the conference call. That or get more coffee.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

August is always a busy month

Last night was the calm before the storm. Today, the hurricane hits.

Not in a bad way...just going to be very busy and out of pocket for a couple weeks. Today after work, I meet up with some of the old Jboo gang for some dinner at Vino's and a Keith Urban concert in LR. Late tonight after the show, I'll be packing up for the events of the next 10 days. Friday around noon, we leave for the sprawling metropolis of Mountain Home, AR. I've been there twice I think, should be fun. I'm really looking forward to getting together with a bunch of the guys, something I don't really ever get to do in Conway (I don't have any good friends here, really). We'll be there to watch and support Ross and Leah as they join our ever-shrinking club of married friends. I say ever-shrinking mostly because it seems that, for every friend that gets married, another two get divorced. It's a sad thing.

After the wedding Saturday, we hop back in the bug, put the convertible top down, and drive to Birmingham, AL for a night at the local Holiday Inn. By noon Sunday, we hope to be on the beach in Navarre, FL bumming around and doing nothing in particular. My hope is that I can just sit around, read, have a beer or two, drink in some sun and get some time to let my thoughts melt away.

The last few weeks have been incredibly stressful...hoping this little trip will help. If not, I'll hold out for next year. Hoping that perhaps we can do Europe, the Bahamas, or some other foreign, exotic destination next time around.

For now, I'll sit here and blog at work, avoid making phone calls, drink coffee, secretly play Castle Age on Facebook while my boss is away and look out the window. I think I've zoned out like 5 times today, and I haven't even been here an hour. Caught myself drooling once...thankfully only Mark was watching.

Le sigh...back to it.